Easter Sunday Prayers

My pastor prayed for you today. I guess it's a given how much I really want you to become a reality. There is a man in my life who is getting closer to my heart than I actually feel comfortable with. I know he's not you. I know I've been down this road often enough. I should want to walk away from those men who definately don't have a hope of being you. I should hang around the guys that love the Lord like you do; that have the priorities that you've already set in your life; the ones that remind me of you. That way, I have a greater chance of actually growing closer to the one who will be you. Sadly enough, this has not been the practice for me.

Something bothered me when Pastor Wendy prayed for you today. I had a picture in my mind of someone, hoping it was you, but not quite sure. He could be you... and if he is...why am I still afraid. Not only of him, but of you. If you are him, are you suppose to let me know that or do I need to find that out on my own.

Where is my courage? I'm going to church tonight to watch Mel Gibson's "Passion of the Christ" I'm reminded of the courage Jesus had one Friday over 2000 years ago, so he could be in relationship with me. There was no guarentee that I would respond with a desire to be his friend in return, and yet He still chose the painful journey.

It seems like the road I need to travel to you will be a painful journey of courage. I just wish it was clear this time. I think that is what Pastor Wendy prayed about.